by Alan Berg, VP of Local Sales Operations & Director of The Knot Market Intelligence

Frustrating as it is, some brides just won't call you, no matter how much you want them to. They'll go to your website and even send you emails, so why won't they just pick up the phone and call?? Well, there are as many reasons as there are brides. It should come as no shock to you but brides are doing much of their wedding planning while they are at work. The busiest days of the week and times of the day for our wedding sites, theknot.com and weddingchanel.com, are during the week, during the day. Actually mid-morning and mid-afternoon are usually the busiest. While she can secretly view websites while at her desk, calling is a lot harder. Sure, some can, and do, but many of the brides today, and the brides coming later, are more likely to email you from their desk than to call. It's not that this bride doesn't want to talk to you, it's just not convenient at those times.

So, who is this phone-averse bride? This generation of brides, and those coming after her, have been raised on technology. This is the MySpace, YouTube, FaceBook generation. They are accustomed to using the internet for school, email at work and text messaging with their friends. While it's frustrating for most vendors, these brides are very comfortable communicating this way. Our average bride is 27. That means the girls graduating High School this year will be your brides in the next 5, 10 or 15 years. That's a scary thought if you have teenage girls.

If you watch your children, nieces, cousins, or just kids on the street, you can see that technology is a huge part of their lives. Cell phones, iPods, video games! Don't fret. All is not lost, especially on the vendors who are in their 40's, 50's and beyond. You can adapt to this technology, as generations before us have adapted.

The advice I usually give to vendors I meet, at trade shows and seminars, is to think about email the same as a verbal conversation. That's really all it is, only without the instant response. Write in a conversational style so when they read it, they can "hear" you talking to them. Think about in the movies, when someone is reading an email or letter, and they hear the voice of the person who wrote it.

Let your personality come through. Make them feel comfortable "talking" to you this way, so hopefully they will want to talk to you in person. Let's face it, eventually, unless you're doing e-commerce, she's going to have to meet with you in order to book your service.

You wouldn't interrogate the bride when you're face to face, don't do it via email. Expect that she's going to ask the same questions she would in person: How much do you charge? Are you available on my date? etc. You need to get past those, the same way you do on the phone and in person. Let her know that you care about what she wants and that you want to get her the right information to fulfill her needs. In order to do that, you need some information.

Let her know that the best way to do that is on the phone, and offer to call her, at her convenience. If she declines, continue the conversation via email. If you don't, you don't get the sale. If you do, you have a very good chance of getting the sale, since many other vendors will give up on her.

Here's a big caveat. If you do list an email address in your ads, and on your website, check your Inbox, often. The instant nature of digital communications has led to a certain level of impatience. If she emails you, she expects you to answer, and fast. While I've seen a lot of vendors use Automated Responses, which validate that her message has made it to you, it doesn't mean that you have read it, and it's not the response she is looking for.

My final thoughts: Always assume that you're not the only one she's emailed. Don't hold that against her. You shop around when you make a big purchase, why shouldn't she? However, it's a little bit of a race. While only those vendors that reply have any chance, the first vendor to get back to her has an edge on winning the sale. Try to ensure that it's you.